| Mirasol Eating Disorder Recovery Centers Tucson, AZ | November 2005 |
 Mirasol, the spanish name for sunflower, means “looking at the sun.” In dreams, the sunflower is a symbol of spiritual joy. -Mary Summer Rain’s Guide to Dream Symbols In This Issue: Letter from the Founder Gratitude What is a Boundary? It's been renewed! $3,000 You're Worth It! Scholarship Sweepstakes! Recipe: Pumpkin Oat Muffins Share The Sunflower with a friend! Click here to visit Mirasol.net and sign up your friend to share this free, monthly newsletter. Visit MirasolTeen.com, the site dedicated to teens! To subscribe or unsubscribe to the newsletter, please click here. |
A Letter From Mirasol's Founder and CEO Dear Friends,I’m sitting here at my desk thinking about my family arriving this weekend for Thanksgiving and I’m so excited. I am very grateful for all of the wonderful people and relationships I have in my life today! I am grateful not only for health and for my family but also for my recovery where I learned to have healthy relationships with friends and family. I am grateful for Mirasol which is a dream come true. We are helping so many people recover and be well! Holidays years ago were always stressful and pretty unhappy. My mother would always have some kind of snit every Christmas Eve and storm upstairs. Another family member would always get drunk on Christmas Eve. Thanksgiving and Christmas days were filled with everyone yelling and fighting and being generally rude to one another. Today is very different. We have love and respect for each another. 90% of us are in recovery for something and I know what it is to truly experience joy in my life as I try to remember to be grateful not just at Thanksgiving but every day. I was browsing the internet looking for inspiration on gratitude and I wanted to share this with you. Rule "There will always be people who have more than we do — and less than we have. We need to be aware of what we have and be thankful for it. Our family is rich in love and many other things." Warmly,
Show Gratitude on a Daily Basis • Make a "thanks" notebook. Write what you are thankful for in your book each day.• Share what you are thankful for each day at breakfast. Ask other family members to say what they are thankful for, too. • Plan a "thanks" race. Ask your family or friends to think of things they are thankful for as quickly as possible. See who gets to 25 things to be thankful for first. Try a bonus round: aim for 50 things to be thankful for! • Draw a picture of a "thankful" person. Next, draw a picture of someone who forgets to be thankful. Tell about each person. Which person do you want to be like? Reinforce Your Gratitude I’m thankful that I have you to love and care for. Let’s count our blessings each day. Our newsletter now has over 10,000 subscribers to date and I’m grateful for each one of you! We are going to continue our discussion of boundaries this month. The use of appropriate boundaries as well as a lot of positive regard and respect for each other has been important in my family. This is one of the tools we’ve used to create healthy relationships with one another. To Recap: What is a Boundary? A boundary is something that sets a border or limit. It defines a physical, emotional, intellectual, or spiritual “space.” Boundaries can be spoken or unspoken, verbal or non-verbal. They are a way we can protect ourselves. When I set a boundary, it means that I will respect MYSELF and I will protect myself from inappropriate behavior. In a healthy relationship people respect each other’s boundaries. This is not about being selfish – this is about being self-caring. So how do I do this? I learn to set boundaries! Boundary Setting: With physical boundaries: I have the right to determine when, where, how and who is going to touch me. I have the right to determine how close they are going to stand to me. And, on the other side of that, I give others the right to determine their physical boundary with me. With sexual boundaries: I have the right to determine with whom, where, when, and how I am going to be sexual. On the other side of that, I give others the right to determine their sexual boundaries. With emotional boundaries: What I am feeling and what I’ve done or not done regarding someone else’s behavior, is more about me than about the other person. I can choose how I’m going to feel in certain situations. No one has the power to make me feel a certain way. However, it is my responsibility to note the impact of my behavior and feeling reality on the other person. With spiritual boundaries: I have the right to think what I want to think, I need only face the consequences of my own thinking. And on the other side of that, I give others the right to think what they want to think. How does one set boundaries? Remember the purpose of setting a boundary is to take care of yourself. Not to necessarily change another person’s behavior. Boundaries are not cast in stone. They should be reasonable, and enforceable, natural and logical. There is no threatening, bluffing, violence, shouting, judging, or moralizing. “If you”_____________________(behavior). “I will”______________________(confront that behavior and share my feelings). “If you” continue that behavior, “I will” take care of myself by______________(action). You must be willing to carry out the consequence or it becomes a threat. Remember people will try to test the boundaries to see if you really mean business. This sounds quite awkward initially but it really helps to have a little script. Remember, we set boundaries not as a way of changing someone else’s behavior, but as a way to take care of ourselves. “If you verbally abuse me by calling me names like blimp, fat, stupid, etc., I will confront that behavior and share my feelings. If you continue that behavior, I will take care of myself by leaving the room (or ending the conversation).” “If you break your plans with me by not showing up or by calling me at the last minute to tell me that you had something else come up, I will confront you with your behavior and share my feelings. “ “If you do this again (if you continue that behavior), I will take care of myself by not making any further plans with you in the future.” What are some boundaries that you feel you need to set? With whom? Let’s practice now. Let’s see if each one of you can come up with a boundary. Set a boundary with a friend, a loved one, and a family member, or even with a neighbor or a guy at work. We can set boundaries with anyone who is disrespectful, inconsiderate, abusive, or anyone who invades our space! This is a good chance to practice. If any of you like, you can send your boundaries to me to check over – I’m glad to help! Now, I want each one of you to choose a sheet, a towel, rug or a piece of paper, what ever it is that you think represents the amount space around you that you need to feel safe. How much room do you need to feel protected? You might need to try several to see which feels most comfortable. Spread your sheet, towel, rug, etc. out on the floor. Stand in the middle of the sheet and think about what that space around you represents. How much space do you need? Can you use more space? Could you do with less space and still feel safe? Why do you need your space? Who invades your space? Who would you invite in and why? What does it feel like to claim your space? To have your own space? Try to be as specific as you can when you answer these questions. You’ll begin to develop a real sense of what your own space feels like. I can always tell when someone invades my physical or emotional space because I get an icky feeling in the pit of my stomach. That’s my signal that my boundaries have been invaded. Good luck and let me know how you do!
It's been renewed! $3,000 You're Worth It! Scholarship Sweepstakes! Our first scholarship sweepstakes was a great success! Congratulations to the winners! We'll introduce them to you in next month's Sunflower newsletter.Didn't win this time? Great news! We've decided to offer the scholarship again for Spring 2006. You're worth it! Here's how it works: Sign up to receive our monthly newsletter "The Sunflower", giving us a little bit of information about yourself. Be sure you are a female at least 15 years old and planning or currently attending an accredited US high school, university or college. Entry deadline is April 30, 2006. We'll randomly pick one $3,000 first prize and two $1,000 second prize winners on or around May 15, 2006. Prizes will be paid directly to the winners' selected schools. Don't wait, click here to enter today!
The Recipe Section: A Guide to Meaningful Eating Pumpkin Oat Muffins
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